I very much feel that this season in life is just one biiiiig hamster’s wheel. Every day (or week) the same activities return once more and we are just sort of doing the motions of life. Rinse. Repeat. Or in our case it’s: get the kids out the door (fed, dressed, with clean teeth), fold the laundry, empty the dishwasher, try and find something to occupy the morning, pack the lunches, do the homework, prep for tomorrow, dinner, some sort of extra-curricular activity, bedtime routines. Rinse. Repeat.
It’s a lot. And it feels a lot more because all of this happens in the 45 minutes before they leave... and then these quiet hours when the kids are away life sort of pauses for a bit and I'm a little lost and then it jump starts the second they are home. Which is what it is and all of that. Nothing to be done about it. They are healthy! Thriving! The things need to be done and why dwell on it? Because I am a Master. Dweller. That’s why. It’s also hard for me to not always be planning. What comes next? Am I ready for tomorrow? Do I have something to do with myself every single day they are away? So on. Probably perpetuating the Groundhog Day type feel I got going on.
I have been looking through old photos of Letty and David lately.... and they almost seem unrecognizable compared to the Letty and David of today. Where did her curls go? When did her curls go? Where are my round-cheeked soft little dimpled innocent children? When did they become these thinner, taller versions of themselves? With adult teeth???? You blink and you miss it and I’m just so thankful I have this blog. To help me remember. To document. And to relive those moments where my hamster wheel life style got in the way...
Normally when they do their homework I’m off doing some other task. Prepping lunches or signing paperwork of my own.... Returning emails, etc. Not paying attention, not in the moment. But yesterday I just watched them. David who has been really working on his handwriting and it’s impressive how smart he is! Have I mentioned how smart he is?? Letty working so hard to get through her books she brought home. She works harder at that task than I have ever had to work for anything. Except maybe to get her? Which is interesting. But focus on the now, Laur. Today.
In the immortal words of Bill Murray: “Whatever happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I'm happy now... because I love you.”
Rinse. Repeat. And it's true. I love you.
