a letter to letteria, the kindergarten edition | andiamo


a letter to letteria, the kindergarten edition

8.26.2016

Letty's first day of kindergarten is on Monday.
Let's just marinate in my own self-pity for a bit shall we? With my eldest heading off to public school for the first time and being gone for seven some odd hours a day it's been happening to me a lot lately. My mind starts to wander and go down a zillion different paths and I feel the panic start to rise and my chest hurts a bit and then I'm just practicing breathing so I don't lose my mind right in front of her. Little things like the stress of a new routine and the drop off process right on over to the fact this school had something like five bomb threats this previous spring....Filling out pages of paperwork and emergency contacts and immunization records... I imagine her walking into the cafeteria and her anxiety about the unknown. I felt the same way when I first entered that same cafeteria at the start of 7th grade, I can only hope that a younger more innocent mind won't suffer from the same....So I'm all over the place. Worrying about things I cannot control and mourning a summer coming to an end. It all happened faster than I could have imagined. I had all these ideas of what our summer would look like, and all I would do with them and get done and while most of it has a nice big mental check next to it there's plenty I wish we had more time for. September never come! I'll home school you this year Letteria if you'd only promise to listen! But she won't... and I can't. I'll recognize my limits and know that that dear lovely daughter of mine and homeschooling would never work. Ever. 

And so here it is. It's coming. It's taking my favorite season over by storm and coloring the entire thing, leaving a hint of a bitter aftertaste when I think of it because now... Now she goes. Now it's real.

I wish so much for my girl. I wish for her to gain confidence and to be a leader, not a follower. I wish for her to always do what we would expect of her, no matter what anyone else is doing. I wish for her to start reading because she's just going to love it so much and I cannot wait to introduce her to all the wonderful worlds I spent so much of my elementary years absorbed in. I wish for her to make some good friends, ones that will be by her side for the coming however many years. I wish that she walks in her first day as a fearless little lady. I wish for her to feel welcomed and included. I wish for her to be the nice girl, the good girl. I wouldn't even mind it if she was a goody two shoes or a teacher's pet. Why not?! Nothing wrong with that! I want her to be honest and be hard working and follow her teachers instructions. I hope she knows she can always ask questions and speak up and participate. I wish she loves her teacher and school over all. I wish for her to never be scared. I wish for her to be happy and to be safe. And then for her to come home immediately and tell me all about her day. None of this one or two word answers this year miss. I need alllll the info.  I hope she knows she has a big giant piece of my heart with her the entire day long...

And hopefully by the middle of September I will have fully recovered and I can just marinate in all the pumpkins and spice and everything nice and enjoy the alone time with Dominic... Because you guessed it, two weeks after Letty starts, David starts pre-k. So. While I'm never one to wish time away I sure wouldn't mind skipping the messy bits coming up in the next week or two...




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9 comments:

  1. You are a great mom! She is so loved & im sure she knows she can come to you with anything & everything! She is going to have soooo much fun!!!! Go Letty Go!

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  2. She will love kindergarten! I had all these same feelings with Ace, hell I had them this year with him as well. Moving every few years makes us go through the same panic attack every time. And don't even get me started on the bucket of tears I cried in my car dropping off Pierce. UGH! This shit is hard....but it is amazing to watch them learn and grow!

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  3. well that's why we have wine and best friends and maybe we'll just need to face time and have a virtual wine date? throw on the books? why not. always the best of times. she's so lovely and sweet and will do well :) loved reading this :)

    xoxo cheshire kat

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  4. So many big wishes mama. Makes one feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders to guide. Is kindergarten full day or do you pick full day? I recall it being half day but I thought it was kind of pick your poison.

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  5. oh i love this! made me so teary. i hope all of those things for her too, especially the loving reading because i want everyone to love reading!

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  6. Ready or not, huh? I can't believe it's only a couple of days away! Thoughts and prayers for you! And, letty of course but I think she will do great! ;)

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  7. All the feels! I hope she has the most amazing first day. I know she’s going to do great things in Kinder!! I tell Mason this every day – be a friend, be a leader and above all else be kind. Beautiful post sweet friend!

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  8. awww, hopefully things have been going well ever since she did so great for her first day!!! and yes yes, i love this. amen to it all.

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  9. Oh Laurie, it's like you're speaking for alllll the mamas, so so true, the questions, the worries, the hopes and wishes! Seems like she's off to a great though!

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