episode ii: the first day of preschool returns

The time has come my friend.  To talk of many things: of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings... or of Letty returning to school yet again. Mostly talking about that. And of a mother who, as crazy as Letty drives me, will miss her something terrible each day. This is one thing about the fall I'm discovering I don't really enjoy. It brings out the worrier in me even more than anything else. I lay awake at night pondering all sorts of things that I have no business to be awake worrying over because I can do nothing about them. What if she can't open her crackers? What if she feels left out? What if she never learns her letters? What if what if what if. All of which are very important if's to a mother and yet I'm helpless about them all and to be honest, the rational part of my brain knows she will do just fine. Kids are brave and resilient and a hell of a lot tougher than their emotional mother. Or so I tell myself. The first day of school is really just an orientation, and the parents get to tag along so, not really a full fledged first day after all. How could it have been a year since we just did this? The drill was exactly the same just with a few slightly different players. While her being away from me for lunch has me anxious, the mention of a Christmas program did not send me down a spiral like last year. 

She went. She played with a few different girls. She left the time in her classroom excited for Friday and for lunch and shushing Luke from last year's class. She's juuuuust fine. 

And then I interviewed her. Just for fun. 

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Letty: Oh come on I keep forgetting. Oh I want to be a grown up. I want to be a mommy. 

Me: For a job I mean?
Letty: I wanna do like clean up my room when you say so. 

Me: What do you miss most about school?
Letty: I miss about painting. 

Me: What do you think you're really good at?
Letty: You have to be good. 

Me: What do you think you'll have for lunch on Friday?
Letty: Maybe cheese crackers and some fruits like grapes and strawberries and that's it. 

Me: How do you make new friends?
Letty: You just play with them and then you make new friends. 

And come Friday when I dropped her off for her first full day I was able to hold it together for her. She was so excited it was a bit contagious. I kept myself busy the entire day and before I knew it I was off to pick her up. I must have gotten the wrong Letty though because she was a literal angel the rest of that day and I was flabbergasted but soaking up every second. Maybe that  Mrs. Kready is a miracle worker. Maybe?

Last year's first day of school here.