the romantic equivalent of a nightlight | andiamo

the romantic equivalent of a nightlight


The above is a line from one of my favorite movies, Bed of Roses. And this post is about how I am so very unthoughtful. Because, to quote the movie once more, "it wouldn't have occurred to me. "

That sounds like a cop out. And I suppose it is. I have to make a conscious effort to do thoughtful things. I have to sit and ponder what a thoughtful person would do. It simply doesn't occur naturally. I don't think to myself, self, it's been awhile since you've heard from _____ and maybe you should text them. Nope. Sending greeting cards? What is that? A note expressing condolences or just thinking of you? Touching base to ask about something important in the other person's life? I'm telling you. It just does not occur to me. And it never has. 

This situation has gotten all the more difficult for me since the arrival of children. My brain is scattered. My thoughts go with the wind. My memory is lost and it is short term. My life, in order to function, requires lists and things planned at regular intervals. I would lose track of the days of the week if it weren't for my cleaning routine. Sounds quite alarming doesn't it? I think it's the result of doing too much. Having kids so close in age. And my iPhone. Not that I mind those things or would even change any. Well maybe the iPhone.

All this to say I'm trying. I try and look through my messages to see how long it's been since I've spoken to a friend. I reread recent conversations to see if there is something I should touch base on. I try and remember. I try and be thoughtful. It probably all comes off as very forced. But I'm trying. 

And lest you think something along the lines of oh but she has time and the mental capacity for this blog? Yeah it's mostly written during one night or two maybe during the week once the kids are asleep. If I don't write it down here it will be lost forever. And once it's written it is most likely promptly forgotten.  Such is my brain. I don't really miss it too much.



  1. who needs a good memory anyway? :) i think you're thoughtful. and that's all that matters

  2. I used to have my shit together..but this last baby through me for a loop. I'm still finding ways to "manage" my time. I'm really awful at it. Finding time for yourself, your children, your spouse, housework.. how do women that work full time jobs do all of these things?! AMAZING.

  3. love this idea! i think it's a really good idea to just be conscious of thoughtfulness and take opportunities to reach out. it IS hard, especially for us moms. The good thing is that all my friends and family already know that i am a scatter brained mess so they're not surprised when they don't hear from me :) quick texts, facebook posts or calls always mean more than you think!

  4. I think you do an amazing job! xx

  5. oh girl you are toooooo funny! i think it comes naturally for some people but i do think it's an intentional effort for a lot of people to be thoughtful! i know i have to make a point of it. and yessss having babies! i can't even RSVP on time!

  6. I think you do a good job too. I used to be way more thoughtful than I am now. Although, I have started to try to pick it up again. I need to spend more time catching up with some of my "real life" friends. It is a bit funny that there are some blog friends that I probably talk to in some way or another everyday yet sometimes I go a week or two without talking to my best friend. Nevermind, just "regular' friends. lol

  7. To each their own...if your family know you love them, then I think you're doing a good job!! Taking are of kids all day and night doesn't lend very much time for other things. Blogging is good outlet though :)

  8. Girl completely know what you're saying - life is tough and busy and it's hard to keep up sometimes. It doesn't make you a bad friend/person just because you aren't able to keep up all the time on everyone else. Sometimes it's just not possible.

  9. "Such is my brain. I don't really miss it too much." - omg, yes. I am so unthoughtful. I don't think it makes us BAD people, it just makes us not as great as those REALLY thoughtful people...? Maybe I am just reaching as to not feel like a total asshole...


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