if I was a good wife...

I would have wine waiting for you upon your arrival home from work. 

I would cook dinner. Ever. Once. The whole thing. And clean it up. 

I would wear something other than leggings and sports bras. 

I wouldn't make you kill a spider. 

I would go grocery shopping. And I would only get what is on the list.  

I would clean all the hair out of the shower. 

I would get up at 6:00 a.m. instead of 6:30 a.m. to run so the children don't have to start your day off early. 

I would never make you watch the Real Housewives of Anything. 

I would get my own late night snack instead of your home-made quesadillas. 

I would be sure to turn every shirt/pair of boxers back right-side out before I fold/hang it. 

I wouldn't get car sick with your driving and I would let you take the wheel. 

I wouldn't make you roll over when you are snoring. 

I would get really excited about cars/aliens/stocks. 

I would never ever I mean ever roll my eyes when you chew loudly/blow your nose like a walrus/chug water like you just returned from the Sahara.

I would let you win every now and then. 

//With any luck in another life I was like one of these women:\\

If I was a good wife I would or wouldn't do a whole lot more of the things. But sadly, I am not a better wife. So thank you for putting up with me and mine.