kids. the drinking game.

My wonderful friend Stephanie actually came up with this idea. Since I'm not a creative soul I stole this idea from her. Stole it and ran. Because it's genius. So. The Game.

Disclaimer: When this game was created I was actually imagining a typical night with our precious Fitzgerald's. Bet you want to be our friend now don't you? I call fibs. This is a collaborative effort between our two great households. Both alike in dignity, in fair Central Pennsylvania where we lay our scene...

What you need:
- Kids (clearly)
- Beer/Wine/Liquor. Pick your poison.  

When you drink:
- When a kid says mom (or dad) more than three consecutive times without taking a breath. Any alliteration of the word mom (or dad). 
- When a kid throws something.
- Every time you say "1! 2!!! 3!!!!". Drink one second per count. If you get to three and the child has not complied, drink every drop you can find.
- When kid is in time out, drink every time they smack the door/washing machine/wall.
- When you need to repeat yourself more than three times. 
- When every kid in the room is crying or complaining loudly. Any grating noise. 
- When they tattle. 
- Every time you are interrupted. 
- When they won't stop repeating the same question. Three times or more.
- When a kid is jumping on a sofa and is told to stop but continues you drink one second per jump after initial ruling from the parent.
- When a kid hits another kid drink for 3 seconds.
- When a kid kicks another kid drink for 4 seconds.
- When a kid bites another kid drink for 5 seconds.
- When a kid blows up the house drink until the insurance check arrives.
- When you tell a kid to share a toy drink until they return the toy to previous occupant. Once per game this could get messy.
- When a kid spills a drink. Try and keep the spill-to-drink ratio. To clarify, drink as much liquid as kid spilled. Double if spillage was on carpet.
- When a kid gets those crazy flailing arms on their food. Food hits floor.
- When kids share a sippy cup. Because that schtuff is gross.
- When a kid sneezes/coughs on another kid. Extra drinks when there's a visual.
- When a kid says "me first" you drink once per statement.

- When a kid is in time out and screaming you finish your entire drink in the amount of time they are in time out. 
- If you are hit by a kid everyone else must finish their entire drink.
- When a kid has a bathroom accident everyone drinks their entire drink. 
- If a kid falls and hurts themselves (nothing serious of course) everyone drinks.
- When someone yells out "let's have 50 kids" everyone drinks except that one person. One time per game let's not be greedy.
- When one parent looks to another parent and mouths "what the f#*$" drink. Just drink.

If anyone actually attempts this please let me know. I'm thinking (to quote Stephanie) we would need babysitters on standby.

The end.