it takes a village

Or in my case, a Sherpa. Today the part of the Sherpa will be played by Matt.

My mom has often said when we were little she rarely left the house. Times are different now I guess or maybe it's just me and my friend, but we go out. All the time. I know summer is dwindling and maybe that's part of it, or maybe I hate being bored. The psychology of this matters not. What matters is, how do I leave the house?

I begin with my diaper bag. It is always ready to go. Always. The first thing that I do when I return home the day before is prep the diaper bag for a quick exit the next time. Refill diapers. Refill water sippys. Refill snacks for both David and Letty. Enough wipes? Did Letty take a dump in her underpants today? Yeah? Oh fun! Replace her spare shorts/underpants. I guess if the alarm goes off at our local nuclear power plant it is good to know that I can just grab it and run. It's armageddon preparation at it's finest.

Hopefully Matt has already moved the car seats (we only have the necessary two, so they need to be transferred regularly) into the car I'll be forced to drive today. If he hasn't then I put on TV for Letty and give David a bottle so I can install them in the garage. Without worrying about decapitation or strangulation. The hair has to go up for this one. 

Shoes are put on both kids. Letty can do this herself (your OTHER left dear. pick a shoe any shoe so long as it matches.) but David requires a lasso and some zip ties. By this point my pit sweat is quite noticeable.

Me: Letty do you need to go to the potty?
L: I. DON'T. CAREEE!!!!!!
Me: (resigned sigh) I was just asking.... you don't have to be mean. (clearly I am going to have the best relationship with her when she's a teenager.)
Me: Is it time for wine yet? 9:00 a.m.... that means that it is past 5:00 p.m. in Tehran.... I can rationalize that. 

Two bottles (of milk silly) go into my refrigerated little pack along with the corresponding frozen ice packs. This goes into the car.

Two iPads go into the car. David gets the Giggle Gang put on child's mode. If they aren't fully charged prepare yourself for a yelling one year old for the duration of the trip.

David needs his diaper changed. Break out the lasso again.

There is always a stroller in the back of both vehicles. One just never knows where one's day will lead one. Does one? If I require the double stroller then I pull that hair back again and brave the garage heat to throw it in (that's what she said). Anyone curious as to how I hurt my back this post should alleviate that curiosity.

Letty will require her sunglasses if we take the Jeep due to lack of air conditioning and a strong aversion to wind blowing in her face. If this is forgotten then I shall squint the entire drive. The things you do for your sanity kids.

Hopefully I have remembered to put my chapstick in my pocket and shoes on my feet. Then I set the alarm and make a run for it. Once the kids are installed in their seats I sit in the driveway staring at the garage door (yes it is in fact closed) for a few seconds and mentally tally my booty. It's all there. Off I go!

This is why I start the exiting process 15 minutes prior to the departure time I actually need in order to arrive 5 minutes early on time. There's gotta be an easier way am I right?